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These two books can save your marriage.

First, the theory.

What If God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? This is the question Gary Thomas brings us in the subtitle of his excellent book Sacred Marriage. This is in stark contrast to the message we hear from all sides these days, even from some Christian authors. You deserve to be happy in marriage. If it’s not working for you, get out. But maybe God has a different plan. Maybe marriage is intended for your sanctification and for God’s glory. While sanctification doesn’t sound nearly as exciting as “personal fulfillment”, it turns out that submission to God’s plan is infinitely more satisfying than trying to get our own needs met.

Now the practice.

In his book The Marriage Builder Dr. Larry Crabb demonstrates a profound understanding of how men and women interact. But rather than give long tedious explanations of these theories, he gives practical advice and exercises that will help you and your mate love each other better. This is a perfect companion to Gary Thomas’ Sacred Marriage. Whereas Thomas gives us the theology of marriage, Crabb gives us the tools to make it happen. We desperately need both.